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You can move on, even if 'they' haven't

9/23/2014

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This video has since gone viral and for good reason. Not many people open up and share hurt they've experienced in life, of course having an international platform takes a bit of the sting away.

Sheryl Underwood is hailed as a heroine, standing tough in the face of those harsh words heard over the muted speakerphone. She has continued a successful stand up career and has made numerous guest appearances on talk,television and radio shows. 

As days have gone by, the Queens of Comedy have chimed in and aren't taking the stand up queen's story  sitting down. They are ready to talk and have aimed their shade squarely at Ms. underwood. 

Let's face it, we've all been there...'they' have  said something that hurt...bruised our self esteem or was downright mean. It hurt, especially when you heard it directly from them. 'They' varies with each story, but so does the triumph.

Underwood made it clear that she'd moved on and holds no ill will to her would be co-stars. The question is: "why are they mad?" 

Well, wouldn't you be mad if your dirty laundry was aired...without you even knowing it existed? Crazy,right?
Well, for those 'Queens of Comedy', there's a lesson here. That lesson is this: Sheryl has moved on, now you have to as well!

By being the first to tell the story, Underwood has assumed the position of power and more than likely won't be vilified by the public. 

Even if you're not a Sheryl Underwood fan, you can't help but appreciate the way things turned out for her. Closer to home, you have to also appreciate the inherent truths this story also provides...

Sometimes, 'they' are right and just don't know how to tell you! Sometimes, people's questions about you are actually harmless.  Sometimes you have to just get over what they said and go prove you belong where they are. We hate new stuff. We hate anything that's going to upset our balance and will fight to keep it from happening. 

However, if you're going to grow in life, you'll need to be willing and able to read beyond caustic commentary to receive the free advice others are unwillingly sharing. 

For me, it was revealed while on my last tour in Japan that some people I know well didn't think too highly of my ability to play and lead the band while on tour. So much so that it'd become a topic of conversation over family dinner. Other musicians were a little more vocal, asking amongst their circles: "how did he get that gig?"

 First things first, I take no credit for any level of success I experience. I am fully aware that without God, nothing is possible. Secondly, questioning can be something great for you and 'them'. I'm sure the original 'Queens' wondered whether or not Underwood could pull her weight on tour and whether she'd be a good enough draw in the absence of Mo'Nique. 

There are numerous variables in this curious case. What if Sheryl went? What/where would she be now...? All we have now are questions, but I want to suggest that sometimes you have no other choice but to go!

I have sat in the same room while other people made fun of my playing and ability. Not so silent whispers in the green room during intermission don't feel good. Making matters worse, the person who hired me to play was sitting right in the middle of all the childish chatter, giggling right along. That hurt the most and I can identify with what Sheryl Underwood felt. 

Still I had no other choice but to stick it out, actually work on what was being mocked and allow moments like that to shape me. I'm not a quitter and although convenient, it's never an option.

"...But by the grace of God I am what I am..."

Sometimes you just have to stand up in the muck and mire and prove you belong there! God makes no mistakes and his placement of us in situations are all in His divine plan. Sheryl Underwood is comfortable sharing this story now because as she said she's 'right where she belongs'. 

 In closing, please understand that we must be willing to grow if we'll ever go (anywhere)! People will say things to each other that they may never say to you and that's  perfectly fine!!!!!!

Think about it like this...what if those words were never heard? Many other words were uttered, but how many have been heard? Perhaps a thank you is in order for Underwood as well. 

Those words exchanged in that private conversation undoubtedly hurt,  but they also helped. Perched atop her lofty platform on mainstream daytime television, Underwood is one of the truest beneficiaries to ever breach the threshold of the door of denial!


Learn how to walk through the door of divine denial. 

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